It’s been such a long time… Iz is 19 months old now, and she’s doing so well—so well that we’re planning for her to start nursery next month.

And yet, here I am, still awake past midnight. The fear comes in waves. I’m not sure it will ever fully go away. I’m scared for the future. I love her so much and all I want is to keep her safe. She is so ready… I am not. I’m not sure I ever will be.

But this isn’t about me. This is about my baby girl.

So, in the dead of night, I sip my decaf tea and let myself cry. Tomorrow I’ll be tired, but I’ll put on my big girl pants and watch her shine… because she is shining. All day, every day—just amazing.