Today’s been hard, getting up, getting dressed, getting out, functioning… today has just been hard… the tears keep coming and I just keep holding my girl,,, I don’t want to let her go… I’m so so terrified. Terrified of losing her, of the op, of her being in pain, of it not working, of her needing a bag back after putting her through this, of the life she will have… I’m not the only one… both of us were up until gone 2am this morning, too anxious to sleep and yet knowing we very much need to. I hope one day we can look back and say we made it, right now it’s so hard to look forwards to anything. Getting closer (again) to op day… squeezing my baby girl tight at every opportunity.